Always, Makoto

My Dearest Senpai,

It's been so long since I've seen you. And yet I cannot get your face out of my head. The years really seem to pass quickly, don't they? It's now been two years since our last day in the rain. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, Senpai. Perhaps because as I write this note it is falling rain outside. Isn't it interesting how certain dates just seem to stick in your mind? That last rainy day does that to me. Whenever the heavens weep I cannot help but think of you.
I hope life has been treating you well. I'm fairing okay, I suppose. These Tokyo skies are grey, but I have my plants to comfort me. What sort of things have you been up to lately? Oh, I wish we could talk of such things again. I miss your company, dear Senpai. Even our talks of the smallest things. Long days with no one to talk to have had their toll on me.
Something has been bearing on my mind ever since our last meeting. It has always been too painful to ask, but I suppose now it is even more painful to continue wondering. What went wrong with us, dear Senpai? Did I, by chance, make you want to leave? What did I do to wrong you? Whatever it be, I am forever in regret. I couldn't bear to hurt you.
I am sorry I could not have been better. More graceful, intelligent, feminine. If I could trade my height for a petite form, I would, if it should have pleased you. I would change my rough appearance for that of a more feminine one. But that is past now. And I cannot go back.
I thought it was love that we shared. And perhaps it was, on my part. But love is something to be shared between two people, and I fear ours was not. All our conversations, adventures, stolen kisses blinded me into believing their spell.I suppose their charm kept me from seeing the obvious. That you weren't in love with me.
I watch the rain fall outside and the hole in my heart deepens. I wish it could have worked out between you and I, Senpai. But it didn't, and that's all that can be said. I hope life brings you the love and happiness I could not give you.

Much Love,


« Dear Haruka | Always, Makoto | Dear Nephrite »

[ the orchids ]